Sunday, January 15, 2012

Honesty leads to freedom

Today I went through an existential crisis, the first one for 2012. I looked into a puddle and asked myself, “Who am I?”. I’m pretty sure there’s a lot more to life than just being ridiculously good looking.

In my case my life is currently about pretending to be a 45 year old bored and uninspired house wife. That’s what my first four blog entries are making me sound like. I’m bored. That’s not me. Who the fuck is that? I feel like I've been taking crazy pills!

I bitch slapped myself back to shape. I checked myself before I wrecked myself. It’s like I bathed off the coast of St Bart’s with spider monkeys for two weeks and changed my whole perspective on shit. I’m leaving the boring blog posts there as a reminder to never write that type of boring shit again. Boom, and she’s back, just like that. Happy, happy, hahahahahaha.

As for next steps, the recipes will come…when I feel like it. And I’m not going to test those several times to make sure they’re OK. I’m assuming that if you’re allowed to operate an oven and stove top, then you should have an idea or two about cooking. You’ll just have to trust my culinary genius and spontaneity. Perfection does not exist. Shit happens. If the recipes don’t work out, then you suck, so use your resourcefulness, tweak it and try again. What happens when you fall off a horse?

Oh yeah, and Le Banana Bread kind of sucks. I didn’t cook it enough plus I used gigantic bananas. I discovered there is such a thing as too much moisture! I suggest using two bananas instead of the three. On the bright side, the strawberry jam was the best fucking jam I’ve had in years. Sure it stuck to the bottom of the pan and I had to add more water when it needed it, but it was freaking awesome! That Hansel is so hot right now.

Also keep an eye out, the design of the blog will be changing, this boring template can derelick my balls.

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